Magazine Mockup

Date: March 5, 2019

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. The ocean was created from the dinosaurs tears when they first saw Chuck Norris. That’s also when they became extinct Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head On the keyboard there is no control button because Chuck Norris is always in control, Jaffa Cakes are not crazy about Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris is crazy about Jaffa Cakes Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.